You know I read in Queer Thinkers his post and thoughts about was gay parenting harmful to children and it really got me to thinking, a lot. You see I knew that I was a lesbian by the time I was 10 years old. I just didn't have a name for it. By the time I was twelve me and my girlfriend had named it. Her mother had threatened to tell my mother and a big I would go straight to Hell if I didn't quit my sinful nature...man. Kissing my girlfriend was so natural, having crushes on girls was what do you mean go to Hell for?
But, from the fear of God Almighty being penetrated inside of my very soul I fought tooth and nail not to be one of those filthy dirty homosexuals so I went and had me some sex with a man and got me a baby. And, from that point on gay parenting never ever entered my thoughts . Gay parenting in the late 70's and early 80's are you serious? I don't know what in the world, society would have done to me back then. Shoot kill burn tar or feather?
In 1985, I had the audacity to enter into the hospital because I was severely depressed. The next thing I knew the court system and my ex husband was ripping my 3 yr. old son right out of my arms. Can you imagine what would have happened if I would have said not only am I bipolar but I am a bipolar black feminist lesbian? Oh, my goodness I'm listening to myself right now and I've got myself screaming up in here! This is very therapeutic, at last I can laugh. Thank you blog sphere.
Yet, now in the year 2007 with Spongebob Square Pants and Patrick & those guys. Dancing with their black lace fishnet stockings and wearing their pink clothing...well. I sit with my grandchildren and watch cartoons I truly become well informed an educated. Dora and the bunch it's about acceptance. It's about embracing everyone and the differences in our cultures our ways of living and life.
We have children in cartoons with dreadlocks, in wheelchairs, they teach about aids, children who come from same sex families there are no ism's it's all about the love. Cartoons are just entertaining they are educational now. My ten and eleven year old nieces and nephews don't flinch when they see same sex couples kissings, no big deal...whatever.
So, the answer to the question Queer Thinker, Gay Parenting is no more harmful than Straight Parenting is. And, oh by the way my son knew before I told him as a grown man that I was gay.
"I'm Ready"
i was trying to follow the yellow brick road Dorothy
when i realized my house was built on sand
and it was quickly sinkinglife can throw you a series of nuts and bolts
plus leave you with many unfastened screws
so now it's time for me to live my life
by the original blueprint, from the creator himself
today my new voice
came in the form of tears
i poured tears for the woman
i use to bei cried tears for the woman
i'm developing myself to be
i sobbed tears for the woman
i will be
and i gagged on the tears
for the woman
i once thought
i should become
my raw an uncontrollable emotions
spilled from a rushing stream of relief
by coming out of the closet
i had been bound & held captive in
at last finally i could be me
my red eyes became swollen and shut
but i was still able to see
the pain pinched the nerves of my heart
and it was released thru the river that flowed
there's no turning back the journey
must be traveled
the new horizons have been painted
with each tear that stroked the brush
fear is leaving me now
acceptance has sprung forth
yet the tears were shed
left an aching heart
i ached for the grandmother
i wished to be
and the mother
i never was
the daughter they labeled black sheep
and the sister they said fell short
but thru the mighty infinite wisdom
of my She God your Lord
i was given the power to release
even this which broke my heart
i know a woman's tender love
will one day grace my heart
she will possess
a tenderness
a softness
with a masculine
feminine touch
i seek no drama
but, want a queen
what my process
has prepared me for
who would have ever known
my knight and shining armor
was the handsome girl next door
created in the image a portrait sketched before the age of 13
the prison i was confined in has set me free
i've found a place in my heart where i can rest in peace
there is no more blurred vision
the writing is on the wall
the wine has been opened
and now it must be drunk
Author's Comments
My self discovery of Who I really was, I'm living OutLoud and not in the closet.
copyright 2000
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